Well, getting back into a routine is proving to be a tad more difficult than I hoped it would be.  And the struggle can be felt throughout the land.   Setting limits.  Limits are not what Rye always likes but are what he desperately needs.  And so we set them.  And we follow through with them.  And we get some pull back.  And some push back.  Until we all understand each other and are clear on what is acceptable and what is not.  When we can see friends and when we cannot.  What work we must get done and what work won’t be left undone. And we are getting there.

But it’s not easy.

One thing I have learned in raising Rye…I need to be flexible.  But not overly flexible.  Because this kid is very strong willed and can try to run you over like a dump truck to get what he wants.  If you let him.  That said…This is my house.  With my rules (well, ok, Don and I but Don is traveling for the next few weeks so it’s just me) .  And I can bend with you to accommodate your needs.  And I can be very understanding, to a point.  In the end, though, it’s my way or the highway.

Oh, yes. That’s right, Rye.

Miss Percy P is back in town and school is in session.

Love it or leave it.

We started back to school today.

I’ll admit, it was a bit rough.  It’s hard to go from having fun all of the time to doing schoolwork.  But, we did it.  And we came up with a system for our daily routine going forward that I think is going to work for both of us.

Although we are behind in math and still doing a 7th grade curriculum, much to my delight I gave Rye an assignment to write an essay (paragraph) about why education is important and I could not believe the paragraph he wrote!  It was great!  Our tutor is making great strides with him on writing and it’s great to see!

It’s funny, when you homeschool the most common comment you hear from other parents (or at least I hear, I can really only speak for myself) is “Oh, that is great that you do that.  I could never spend that much time with my child.  I mean, we need time apart and I enjoy the time he/she is in school.   I could not do without it”  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that.  And I used to think that way as well, before I started homeschooling.

But here’s the thing, once you get used to having that time together, you actually really enjoy it.  I really enjoy being with Rye.  Teaching him, learning from him,  learning together.  I mean do we need breaks from each other?  Oh yes.  Do we get sick of each other sometimes?  Oh yes.  And yes.  But we get breaks from each other.  Rye plays sports, he takes outside enrichment classes, he goes to friends’ houses, he goes to summer camps.   And now I’m starting to see…this time we have together is going to start passing quickly.

Because the conversation is changing.

While Rye and I used to talk about this or that, we now talk quite a bit about him and his friends working on engines, fixing 4-wheelers and dirt bikes, buying parts, saving for a car, getting his driver’s permit and license, getting a moped before he can get a car, getting a part-time job, making money, saving money, girls, girlfriends, hanging out with friends, going to the lake with friends, telling him he has to come home some and not spend all of his time with friends, and on and on.

It’s all changing.

Rye turns 14 this summer.  In the next year or two he will be able to get a part-time job, save money, buy a car, have a girlfriend, etc.  And for a kid who has always had a lot of separation anxiety, I can see that that is starting to play less and less of a role.

I’m happy and sad all at the same time to watch him grow up.

It’s bittersweet.

I really love that kid.  I love him with all my heart.

And I’m starting to see, he won’t be a kid for too much longer.

Now, for those of you who don’t know or who don’t have children in school who require Special Education services, what is Inclusion?  In a nutshell, Inclusion is the new movement to take a majority of kids in public schools who have been in Special Education classes [some of them for years now], take them out of the specialized, smaller and separate classes that parents and advocates fought so hard for so  many years to get for these kids, and dump them back into mainstream classes with a support staff member that is supposed to co-teach with the main teacher to help the ’special’ kids.

Why is there a push for Inclusion?  Well, money is the real reason.  It costs less.  If you are to ask a School Administration or Commissioner, though, they will tell you that move is prompted because students need to be with their same age ‘normal’ peers.  They need to see ‘normal’ social interaction, be taught at the same level as all of the other kids, and have the same opportunities as all of the other kids in school.  Separating them hurts them more than it helps them.

But is this really true?

In our experience, no.  Inclusion was the death of us with the public school system.  Granted, we homeschool now and I would not trade that for anything.  It has done wonders for my son and we will never go back to public schools unless we move to a state where you can pick and choose the classes your child takes, homeschool for part of the day, and play public school sports as a part-time homeschooler (because after all, we do pay the same taxes as everyone else to pay for those schools and sports).  But honestly, Special Education services were the only thing that worked for us in public school.  My son has a hard enough time learning in small classes in huge schools.  Do away with that, put him in a middle school class of 30-35 kids and two teachers, and it is a death sentence.  Now he has to deal not only with just trying to learn at the same pace and level as his more advanced peers but also with the commotion and actions and behavior of himself as well all of the kids in the class (many of whom are frustrated and struggling as well) and simultaneously listen to two different teachers.  All in one room.

Disaster.

And doesn’t this move to Inclusion go against everything that caring parents and advocates fought so hard for for so many years with regard to the Americans with Disabilities Act, IDEA and FAPE?

Yes, it does.

So, what to do…what to do?  Honestly, I don’t know.  And I no longer have a horse in that race.  But it concerns me greatly for those that do and for our society in general.

I know in our state the drop-out rate in the 9th grade is over 50% .  And that is pretty standard across the county.  And that was before Inclusion.  My guess is that it will increase now as these kids get more and more frustrated and say to hell with it. I know a Special Education teacher at Rye’s previous school told me that due to Inclusion they are now sending many 8th grade kids this year on to the ninth grade to enter Algebra class at the high school with a current 2nd grade math level.   Because they just cannot reach these kids in a class of 35 kids and 2 teachers.   And they cannot hold them all back.

So, what do they do? I don’t have any answers but I know that at this rate things will get worse before they get better and it breaks my heart that people work so hard in this country to make progress for disabled rights and help our future generations only to have it all undone but some bureaucrats that don’t want to spend money on education or mental health services, all in the name of ‘helping’ our kids.

Yes, by all means, thanks for the ‘help’.

And if you think Special Education services are expensive, wait for the bill on all of these kids as they grow up and become adults with no education, no life skills, and no way to adequately support themselves or their families.

Now that will be expensive.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I love Teaching Textbooks.

When we started this year [Grade 7], Rye would not use this program.  We tried a few sample problems from their website

http://www.teachingtextbooks.com/

and I loved it but because he is learning disabled and was used to having a live person teach him, he wanted to continue learning in the way that was familiar to him.  So, we did.  We used the textbook Bob Jones Pre-Algebra, I made lessons for him every day, I made worksheets for him by hand, and I taught him.  It was dry, boring and a bit tedious and after six months of it, he was ready to try something new.  And so was I.

Enter Teaching Textbooks.

What a difference this has made in our lives!  Teaching Textbooks is interactive, interesting, broken down into reasonable sized lessons, incorporates a lot of review and looping back (which I was not great at), and takes nearly all of the work out for me.  All of the grading is done online and everything is planned, laid out, and taught for you.   And Rye really likes it (well, as much as he will ever like math).

Now, I will say that because Rye is learning disabled, I still do have to jump in from time to time and explain some things to him.  And so it’s not completely hands-off for me.  But, it’s about as good as it’s going to get because he will always need some help and I am happy as a clam to have 95% of the work done for me.  And at this level it gives cute encouraging displays when the student does well and those are nice.

So, where are we?  Well, although we have already spent most of this year on 7th grade math, we decided to start fresh with Teaching Textbooks and start from the beginning with the Grade 7 math curriculum.  Just to make sure we have it down.  So that is where we are now.  My goal is to be through Grade 7 this summer (as most of it is review for us) and start next fall on schedule with Grade 8 (Pre-Algebra).

Wish us luck!  And check it out if you haven’t already.

Also, I would say this would make a great at-home supplement for kids struggling with math even if you don’t homeschool.  It really breaks down the concepts, explains them very well, and makes sure your child has the basics down well.

I can’t help but think

that one day I will look back

on this time in my life

and think

these days

were some of the best days

of my life.

Every teacher and tutor Rye has ever had will tell you very clearly, he has ADHD.  I know it, we know, his pdoc knows it.  It’s obvious.  And has been since he was about 5 years old.  He has a very short attention span when it comes to traditional learning and it takes a very patient teacher to teach him.

So, do we medicate the ADHD?

No, we don’t.

Why?

Well, we’ve tried.  A few times.  And we had good results for a few months and then ultimately had disastrous results.  Mania, psychosis, hospitalization.

With Rye having bipolar disorder and ADHD we choose to make a choice.  We have great stability now with the bipolar disorder and it took us over a year to get to this point.  Rye takes 2 medicines, Depakote & Seroquel.  Seroquel scares the crap out of me and I thank God every day that he is able to be stable on such a low dose (50mg).  I wish he didn’t need it at all.  That said,  there ain’t no way in hell I plan to add more meds to the mix and jeopordize that stability he has just so he can pay attention for longer to do schoolwork.  No way.  Forget it.  Not happening.

Does this make doing schoolwork hard?  Yes.

Does this impede his academic performance?  Yes.

Is this a contributing factor to us homeschooling him?  Yes.

Does it take great patience to teach him?  Yes.

But, so what?

To us, it’s worth it.

He is very active and we keep him very active in sports and other outdoor acitivities.  He needs and loves a lot of physical activity and a lot of time outdoors.

He’s happy most of the time, he’s healthy, and he’s living a very full, loving,  productive life.    That’s what matters to us.

The rest is just book work.

Rye and I are on a road trip right now.

Road trips allow us to enjoy some of the best aspects of homeschooling.

Togetherness. Freedom. Flexibility.

Learning. Living.

Socializing.

And fun.

Rye’s Reading.

As a part of our homeschool work I make Rye read a part of his reading assignment out loud every day as he is dyslexic and I need to make sure he is reading all of the words correctly.  Also, this way he can ask me how to pronounce words as we go or ask me their meanings as we go.  Wait, didn’t I just say that?  Well anyway…

Today as he was reading he was mumbling and blurring sentences together so I asked him to read it over again and read out loud as he would read it if he had an audience in front of him.   I thought that might make him put a little more effort into it.  He started over.  He began and this time he enunciated well, used a loud and clear voice and also read it in full song.  Oh yes, since he was imagining an audience in front of him, he sang the entire passage.   Crooned it, if you will.  In kind of a sultry, jazz/big band type voice.   The entire thing.  And then, of course, added some of his own lyrics just for good measure.  Which, of course, were really silly.

I’ll tell you, I tried but I could not help but just burst into laughter.  He can be really over the top sometimes and very funny.  The good news is he read [sang] the entire passage correctly and answered all of the comprehension questions correctly.  The bad news, the next thing out of his mouth was “I really want to be a comedian when I grow up.  I think I could be really good at that.”

And he probably could.

photo source

if Rye is going to have a hard time making good decisions for himself as he gets older.  And sometimes it really scares me.  It’s tricky because at times he can be such a  mature and astute kid and can make really good decisions, is a good conversationalist and seems to really have his head on right.  When we travel or are at dinner parties, gatherings, etc. he always gets compliments  from adults on how well he interacts with adults and they are always impressed with how outgoing, level headed and mature he seems for his age.  However, at other times you just wonder what in the blessed world he is thinking and why he makes the choices he does.  Especially after he’s been around a lot of kids his own age.  And even more especially when he’s around the kids from his [previous] school.  It’s like he loses half of his brain cells.  And I know a part of that is just being 13 years old.  And I know a part of it is just the intermittent immaturity of growing up.  But a part of it is just him as well.  He is so greatly influenced by his environment it’s incredible.  And it can be a bit nerve racking at times.

Nerve racking.

Because we really have to work hard to control his environment.  He is truly a chameleon that completely changes completely according to what environment he’s in.  I mean completely changes.   I’m just so glad he is out of public school.  He learned more bad stuff there then I ever could have even imagined.  It’s crazy.  And I know there are millions of kids that do great in public school and for them I am so happy,  but mine was just not one of them.

Definitely not one of them.