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Thanksgiving Weekend

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

We had a very nice Thanksgiving weekend here.  It was very low key as it was just Rye, Don and I and it was very relaxed.  We made a big turkey dinner on Thanksgiving and then the next day as our weekend outing we went on a boat ride, did some sight seeing, went out to dinner at a really groovy dark, intimate restaurant and then saw ‘The Muppet Movie’.  The rest of the weekend we spent lounging around the apartment.  It was really pleasant.

As of yesterday, we are all back to work and school.  A few more weeks and we will be preparing for Christmas.  Wow.  This year we will have a very low key Christmas as we don’t have any family here and we don’t really know any friends yet either. Also, financially we are tapped due to the move and set up costs of everything in a new place so it won’t be a big gift year either.  But that’s ok, it will be a nice holiday anyway.

Don found a new church for us to try this Sunday so I am really excited about that.  I have always wanted to be a member of an inner city church that is old and established and has really cool architecture with awesome stained glass, stone, and wood.  Something about those traditional churches that are over 100 years old make me feel very small in stature and yet largely spiritual and wonderful.

I’m looking forward to it.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

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Abilify, Stimulants, Antidepressants and Suicide

Monday, November 21, 2011

[photo credit: www.thebipolarmarriage.com]

A few years back I wrote about how my son (who was 12 at the time) took Abilify as a stand alone medication for a few months and had suicidal thoughts while he was taking it.   This was unusual for him as he is not a suicidal kid in general and when we discontinued the medication due to it giving him tics of odd tongue movements and neck rolls, the suicidal thoughts discontinued-as did the tics.

Over the years since then I have received quite a few emails from people relating to that post and sharing similar issues of suicidal thoughts or tendencies while taking Abilify – either with themselves, their loved ones, or their children.  Because I have no way to verify the legitimacy of these emails, I have not written about them.  However, a few days ago I received an email from a man saying that his fiance completed a suicide attempt and he is now devastated by the loss.  I was struck by that email.   He attributes the suicide to her taking a combination of Pristiq, Abilify and Adderall.

He says:

The pills made her more and more irate, unapproachable, wild, irrational, paranoid, and completely not “herself”…Definitely not the person I met and fell head over heels for. She nose dived in a matter of 2 to 3 months with the biggest hit coming with the addition of the Abilify.

_______

I cannot get this email out of my mind.  As you know, stimulants caused huge issues for my son and Abilify was not good for him either.

If your child or family member is taking stimulants (Ritalin, Adderall, Focalin, Concerta, etc.) and/ or SSRIs or SNRIs (antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, Effexor, Paxil, Pristiq) and/or Abilify and they are suicidal and/ or worse than they were before they started the medication and/or simply cannot get stable, PLEASE consider that the medications that are supposed to be helping them could be making them worse.   Do not discount their behavior as simply a part of bipolar behavior or as you having a child that simply cannot get stable.   Stimulant medication and medication with stimulant-like properties does help people that can tolerate it but it can also wreak havoc on people that can’t and even more so on bipolar teens, children, and adults.

This has happened to us, it has happened to others, and it can happen to you.


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Hello Winter!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

There is snow in the mountains here and it is beautiful!

Hello ski season!

Hello winter!

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The New Psychiatrist

Thursday, November 17, 2011

We met with the new psychiatrist this week.  Or what may become the new psychiatrist.  I say ‘may’ because I have also made an appointment with another psychiatrist so we’ll see who we like better.

So, how was he?  Well, ok, I guess.  This one is fairly young.  He’s less than 10 years out of med school and he’s young, energetic and tried really hard to be ‘hip’ and connect with Rye.  And Rye seemed to like that.  As for me, though, I was a little more leery.  I tend to like older, more tried and true doctors who have seen it all.  Rye’s previous psychiatrist had well over 35 years of experience (he technically could have retired if he had wanted to) and I felt like he was very good at what he does and was very mellow as well.  He didn’t get all hung up in the vernacular of things and was good at seeing the bigger picture.  The new pdoc?  Well, he’s newish in his career and associated with a hospital (he’s on hospital staff) so he has to follow a bunch of criteria whether he wants to or not.  And he has to answer to a bunch of people whether he wants to or not.  And that can get kind of annoying.

For example, he does not like to use the term ‘bipolar’ and feels unsure that Rye really has ‘bipolar’ because after all, he has known us for all of 2 minutes now and do we, as a society, really know what bipolar looks like in a child?  So, he uses the term “Mood Disorder NOS” and gave us a whole mini lecture about it.  Dude, wtf, who the crap cares what you call it? If it makes you feel better to call it Mood Disorder NOS, go for it.   Call it ‘Der Wienerschnitzel’ if you want but let’s not mess with what’s working.    And honestly, let’s not debate what bipolar looks like in a teen.  If your child gets so hyper that they can’t attend school, can’t concentrate, make terrible decisions, engage in dangerous behavior, have no peace of mind, racing thoughts, racing speech, superhuman strength, can’t sleep, can’t relax, get delusional, get paranoid, hear things, see things, have debilitating nightmares…it’s not just a case of the ‘hypers’.  For peet’s sake.  Let’s not reinvent the wheel here.

Another thing, because this psychiatrist is on hospital staff, he has no say in his schedule.  In other words, we saw him for an hour for our initial appointment and going forward we will only be able to see him for 20 minute increments for med checks.  Even if we wanted to see him for hour long appointments and pay out of pocket to get more out of the experience or get more help, we can’t.  He’s not allowed to do that.   So, our fate rests in the hands of someone who knows us not at all and who really can’t get to know us either, even if we wanted to.  Even if we wanted to pay extra for it.  I don’t like the inflexibility of that.

Also, he asked for records.  All of Rye’s records from the dawn of time.  Why?  Because apparently he is going to look them all over and decide if all of these ‘diagnosing’ doctors (his colleagues with much more experience than himself) are right in their diagnosis .  And, because he says it will take their hospital staff 100 years to get the records if we leave it to them (not very reassuring), I need to do it all myself.   Apparently it is out of the question to just pick up the phone and call Rye’s previous pdoc for 5 minutes to get the run-down, colleague to colleague.  And to this end, getting Rye’s records is a pain but overall no big deal and all sounds good and great but let’s think about this…given the fact that we have now already had our allotted one hour appointment and from now on we get 20 minutes every month or up to every 3 months (our choice) to see him in total every year, this record seeking journey hardly seems worth my time.  When is he going to look these records over and when is he going to discuss his findings with us?  In the 3 hours total a year he sees us (of which we’ve already used 1 hour up)?  It’s never going to happen.  Also, he expressed concern that Rye’s learning disabilites may be causing his ‘bipolar’ like behavior.  Ummm, no.  Let’s not be ridiculous.  Learning disabilities don’t land kids in hospitals with crazy erratic behavior and audio and visual hallucinations, etc. etc, etc.

Anyway, the good news?  He is very nice and personable.  And I know he means well.  He appears to be a sweet person.  And Rye really likes him.  And he’s close to our house.  And he’s covered by insurance.  So, we’ll keep him in the running.  And, most importantly, he didn’t change the meds or even ask about changing them.  So that’s good.

Let’s not try and fix what isn’t broken.

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Getting Adjusted

Monday, November 7, 2011

Well, it’s been a month now since Rye and I left our home in the Southeast to drive across county and meet up with Don to settle into our new life in the Northwest.  Holy cow.  I can’t believe it’s only been a month.  It feels like it’s been much, much longer. In a good way, though.

Life is so different here.

We used to live in a house with acres of land.  Now we live in an apartment.  We used to live in a rural area.  Now we live in a very urban area.  We used to live in an area where life resembled that of the 1950’s.  Now we live in an area that is rich with all of the newest technologies, innovative companies, architecture and general offerings.  We used to live in a very conservative area.  Now we live in a very liberal area.  We used to live in an area where nearly all land is privatized.  Now we live in an area completely connected with trails, flush with parks and emphasis placed on public access.  We used to homeschool.  Now Rye is back in public school full time.

Wait.

Did I just say that?

Yes, Rye is back in public school.  Why?  Well, he decided he didn’t want to homeschool here.  He wanted a regular routine and he wanted to be with kids all day.  And the schools here are said to be very good.  Some of the best in the country.  So, he went back in.  And the school here has been really great so far.  And so far, he’s happy there.  So we’ll take it.  One day at a time.

How is Rye doing in general?  Amazingly, he’s doing really well.  He has been a complete trooper about this move.  It’s really been incredible to watch.  Especially since it really is like we moved from one world to a completely other world.  But he seems to be taking well to it.  He is taking well to all of the international flavor of the area, the urban setting and all of the different options and foods and nationalities of people.   He seems to enjoy it all.

And Don and I?  We are enjoying it too.  Admittedly, we all three have days where we just collapse from exhaustion from the constancy of everything being new and unfamiliar.  But it’s worth it.  We are adjusting. And we are having fun.

Other adjustments?  We start with a new pdoc for Rye soon.  Hopefully that will be a fit.  Our insurance here is not great.  It is Aetna PPO but we have a terrible deductible plan so we essentially have to pay for everything out of pocket for the first half of the year until the deductible is gone and then after that they supposedly they pay for some of everything.  At least that is what we are told.  The Seroquel with this insurannce is $500/month making Rye’s med payments for us almost $600/month out of pocket – and that is with insurance!  It almost makes you wonder what the point of having insurance is when you pay $13k/year before you even see any partial benefit from having it.   Ughh.  Insurance companies  just run this country.  It’s pathetic.

And I guess that’s about it for now.

Ski season will be here soon and so will the holidays!  Lots to look forward to!

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We Made It!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

It’s been a while since my last post but we made it and we are all in one piece!  Holy cow, though, what a long drive.  And we were pooped x100 by the time we got here.  I think we went through 11 states in all.  My favorite?  Montana.  Montana is spectacular.

So, we are here.  Now what?  Well, for one we have been trying to get Rye situated as far as school goes.  It appears we are still going to homeschool but homeschooling can look a little different here if you want it to as the laws and options are much different here than they are in the South.  So, we are exploring all of our options and going forward.

One thing we are doing is having the local public school do all new academic testing on Rye.  Can you believe this has not been done since the 3rd grade?  Yes, that’s right.  In the rural South they aren’t too concerned with following federal laws so not only was our IEP not worth the paper it was written on there, Rye has also not been tested for 6 years now (it is supposed to be done every 3 years).  The school here is amazed by that.  Maybe that is a good sign.  We’ll see.

In other happenings, Rye and I are trying to get used to the area and culture here.  In other words, we are in culture shock.  Don seems to have adjusted already as he’s been here a few months now but we moved from an area where the houses are far apart and maybe 15% – 20% of our local high school (the one that Rye was zoned for) goes directly on to a 4 year college.  Now we are in a bustling, densely populated, very international,  highly educated area with good schools, dynamic international companies, public transportation, and lots of public parks.   It’s wonderful here and we are very glad to be here.  It’s beautiful.  It feels much like the Bay Area where I went to middle school, high school and undergrad. college so it kind of feels like home for me.

And, signs that Rye is already changing for the more worldy?  A few weeks here and he is pretty clear on the difference between Thai food, Chinese food, and Japanese food.   And it will get all the more interesting when he dips into the public schools where a good percentage of the kids have English as their second language and many of them speak many languages and have lived all over the world.  It’s going to be great for him.

As for Don, he is absolutely loving his job.  He is in his ideal job.  Rye and I are so happy for him.  It’s so nice to see him be adequately challenged and the culture at his company is great.  The people are super intelligent and he loves the industry so he could not be happier with the move.

As for me, I am adjusting.  I love the food here and the parks and the walking trails and the terrain and the million things to do outdoors and the million cultural things to do and free spirit-ness and artistic-ness and international-ness (yes, I just made those words up) of the area.  I do get panic attacks though when I have to deal with the school and am so hesitant to deal with them in general but I guess that’s reasonable considering what we’ve been through in the past regarding public schools.  As Don says, he hopes these schools aren’t ‘dirty liars’ about everything as the old one was but these schools have a very good reputation so we will try and hope for the best.  His comment cracks me up though.  And sadly, it’s true.  We’re jaded now.

Overall, though, I love the area.  It is beautiful and everything we were looking for in a move.

Let the new chapter of our lives begin!

______

photo credit

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The Long Ride Home

Monday, October 3, 2011

I think I told you we are moving.  Across country.

To get to our new location, first we were going to drive.  Then we were going to fly.  And then the time was just dragging on and Don had been gone for a while, already living in the new location and working and well, Rye and I were having a little too much free time.  And it was unproductive.  So, we changed our minds again and decided to drive.

I threw Rye and the dogs in the car and off we went.

We are in route right now.  Specifically, today we are in Montana.  We have been driving for 4 or 5 days now and have 2 more to go.   Because with a teenager and 2 dogs in the car, you have to stop a lot.  So we can only drive so many hours in a day.  But, we are definitely getting to see a LOT of the country.

And for the most part, the country is beautiful.  And it’s amazing how different the different parts of the country are.  Each state has its own flavor.  And going from east coast to west coast is a big change, for sure.

Anyway, I will write more regularly once we get settled.  Rye is doing surprisingly well with the drive.  And after 7 years I have now potty trained the chihuahua.  Amazing.

I guess you just never know what life will bring.

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Charlie Sheen Roast on Comedy Central: Review

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Oh my gosh, did you by any chance see this last night?  I’m guessing if you had anything better to do at all you didn’t.  But for me, Rye was in bed with a cold and I was up late bored so I watched it.

Wow.

Here are my thoughts:

What a train wreck.  I’m so curious as to why they did this now.  Money and ego, I guess, but it sure seems way too early to pronounce him as a comeback.  At most he can only have a few months sober.  And if he really did want a comeback, I’m not sure this helped his cause by any stretch of the imagination.

The guest panel looked like a focus group for dual diagnosis treatment follow up.   With the exception William Shatner, who I really like, and the blond female comedian, who I’d now like to see in some other venue, all of the rest of them were like WTF?  I guess that was the best they could do.

It would have been better if they could have had Dr. Drew on there as a commentator analyzing, asking questions, and overall commentating.  Now that would have been interesting to watch.  But I’m guessing no sane person, Dr. Drew included, wanted to touch that tribute with a ten foot pole.  And with good reason.

As for the jokes, is this situation really something to joke about?  I mean, honestly, Charlie Sheen’s kids are going to be in therapy forever.   Maybe not right now, but trust me, this will catch up with them and him.  Hearing  jokes about your dad doing excessive drugs, engaging in excessive sex, abusing women, abusing their moms, being a whore monger, enjoying anonymous sex, acting crazy, being ungrateful for what he has, not giving a care in the world about his kids, being an overall ass, and on and on and on really isn’t that funny.  Trust me, to them it won’t be funny.

As for Brooke Mueller, his ex-wife who was in the audience laughing along, God help her.  And her kids.  I mean at least Denise Richards has dignity, intelligence, and some sense so I think her kids will be fine.  Brooke and Charlie’s kids are going to have a bumpy ride with those two as parents and her supporting him and their chosen lifestyle over the kids’ safety and sense of well being.

Steve O.  He made me sad.  He had such a sad look in his eyes it broke my heart.  He has a long journey ahead.  And the fact that he voluntarily ran into Mike Tyson’s fist not once but twice trying to get a black eye speaks volumes.  About the whole evening, really.

I kind of felt sorry for Mike Tyson too.  Don’t ask me why but I did.  I think he struggles far more than he lets on.

Charlie mentioned at the end of the roast that his family was not there to support him.  He gave a slight nod to the fact that he understood  why but then just barreled forward.  I say good for them.  Someone needs to have some sense here.  If my son put me through hell and back with his actions and then wanted to celebrate himself and his actions a few months later in a ‘me-me-me, celebrate me’ public format, I would not go either.  What is there to celebrate?  They are probably still completely reeling from the damage and mortifed by his compete lack of gratitute for what he has and lack of compassion and insight into what he has put his family through.

Overall, I think you would have had to have been intoxicated, completely manic, or a middle school boy to really enjoy this show and enjoy the humor in it.  That said, I’m not even sure a middle school boy would have liked it.  Rye has a biodad very similar to Charlie Sheen and I can tell you that Rye would not have found this funny and would have felt sorry for Sheen’s kids.  The kids are the ones that pay the price.

Charlie Sheen says he is proud of the fact that nothing he has done to date has killed him and that even he can’t kill himself.  The rest of the world looks on, looks past the literal, and says,

Really? Are you sure about that?

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Corticosteroids: The Crazy Maker

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

We’ve had an interesting week over here.  Amidst my time packing, organizing and otherwise preparing to move, one of the things that happened while Rye was out and about this week was that he was with friends and was in the woods looking for adventure and managed to get poison ivy on his leg.  He then, of course, scratched that area and then scratched and rubbed over a good deal more of his body including all over his face.  By the time he came home to me, he was covered in it and his face was blowing up like a balloon.

So, we go to the doctor.  And he gives us steroids.  I ask the doctor…with him being bipolar I’m a little worried about these steroids.  I mean, I know we need them but we have not had a good experience in the past with him taking them (Rye had asthma when he was really little and the steroids made him straight crazy).  Well, the doctor tells me, it should be fine.  Then he pauses, rethinks, and says …but… in some cases they can have a mood effect so if you notice anything bad just discontinue use immediately.

Ok, I say, and off we go.

As Rye was completely miserable and itching, by the time we get home he is begging for the steroids so I give them to him, keeping in my mind that I am only going to give him about a third of the prescribed dose to be safe and go from there.  And then I tell him, if you start to feel high or crazy, let me know, ok?  OK, mom, he says.  And then chastises me for being paranoid and overly worried as he feels certain they won’t make him feel bad.

Okie, dokie.

So I give him one dose.  Then another.  Then another.

I feel fine mom, he says before bed.  These meds aren’t making me feel bad at all.  Great, Rye, happy to hear it.  Just keep an eye on it though, ok?

Ok.

The next day?  He is high as a kite.  Manic, if you will.  After I give him the morning dose he tells me he got up later the night after I put him to bed and was wired, could not sleep, wanted to go on an adventure and fight the Mohicans outside, was hearing footsteps in the house, and on and on.   Apparently it took all of his rational thinking skills to stay in the house and not succumb to the the adventurous wiles and chanting gangs of Indians calling him like the sirens calling to Odysseus outside our house.

Later that day he was less ‘perky’ high and was miserable with the feeling from the steroids.  He was edgy, hyper, anxious, and on and on.  He then said now he knew what I was talking about with regard to steroids.

The good news?  They did calm down the poison ivy even in a tiny dose.  So although we only made it through about 1/4 of the total prescribed oral dose, they did (in combination with the steroid topical creme), get the allergic reaction under control and he is much better now, mentally and physically.

Thank God.

_____

note to self:  point out to doctor next time that with Rye it is not just ‘mood’ problems that occur with some of these meds but also thought problems and delusions.  i feel lucky that he stayed inside the house and didn’t hurt or endanger himself in any way with regard to his false thoughts.

_____


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Forks Over Knives: Movie Review

Monday, September 5, 2011

I watched this movie last night and honestly, it should be required viewing for every student in America and suggested viewing for every adult in America.

This movie shows how you can prevent and heal heart disease, diabetes, and cancer all with a whole foods, plant based diet.

So, do I think diet can cure everything?  No.  Do I think this can cure or prevent every kind of cancer?  No.   However, why not use it to heal and prevent what you can with it?  Our incredibly excessive consumption of animal products, sugar, and animal proteins in America is killing us.   Period.

And here’s the good news, this movie shows with scientific data how you can actually reverse heart disease.  You can rebuild the walls of your arteries, decrease inflammation in the heart and overall body, and rebuild how efficiently blood flows through your body all with diet.  Plant consumption heals and regenerates your body.  So even for people who have had multiple heart attacks and bypass surgeries, it’s not too late to start.

I can tell you from my own experience that although I have more to do yet with my diet change as I have not cut out sugar or dairy, I have cut down on them and notice that from being a vegetarian and green juicing I have a million times more energy and mental clarity than I did before.  And my digestive systems works really well now.   So, even with some modest changes in my diet I am seeing good results.

Check it out.  It may save your life.

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