We had a rough day yesterday. A day unlike we have had in a long time.
Why?
We found out yesterday that a 15 year old boy Rye knows [the older brother of a kid Rye was in classes with in school] is going to prison for attempted murder. He is in custody now and will be there probably until his early 20’s.
I can’t tell you how deeply this triggered Rye. He was freaked. He melted down for hours yesterday.
The reality of it is tough. That said, without going into the details, the boy needs to be locked up. The circumstances of the event were troubling and gruesome and I think this was part of what upset Rye so much was that he knew someone so close in distance to us and so close in age to him that could commit this kind of crime.
So what happened to this kid? How did he get to this point?
The short answer is drugs.
The kid was out of his mind on crack cocaine. He had an incredibly tough early family life – and that would be an understatement (from his bio-family, previous to the one he is in now) and had been out of control for years now. The family member he is with now tried to help him. They had help from the judicial system. They had help from social services. They were going to send him to military school a year or so ago but unfortunately opted not to because they believed him when he promised to be different if they put him back in public school with his ‘friends’.
Sad.
So, yesterday Rye says to me as we are driving, you know, mom, I think ‘X’ was bipolar. I mean, he may not have been but he certainly had the same problems with anger I used to have. I definitely think he could have benefited from the medicines I take. Man, this makes me really grateful for my meds.
I agreed with him and told him that although I agree and that this boy may be bipolar, his situation is certainly much more complex than that given his family history and was probably not easily fixed with some mood stabilizers. We then talked about the whole situation and the dangers of self medicating with illegal drugs and how getting the treatment Rye gets gives him control of his life. With his meds and with paying close attention to his moods and needs, Rye has managed his life in a healthy way and has had a really great year. And has a great future ahead of him.
And he now really sees that for himself. Which is huge.
That said, he melted down quite a bit yesterday. But thankfully he is doing well today. He just need to let out all of that fear and anxiety.
It’s a tough reality.
3 Comments
So incredibly sad. The family that tried to help him is undoubtedly torturing themselves that they didnt send him away to a different environment when they had the chance.
Wow that is a tough one. I think things like that are difficult for our kind of guys. Because they are at heart good kids, and they want to be good, and their over the top angry reactions scare them. And to see bitter consequences for angry reactions for someone else is really scary. I’m glad Rye see the benefit of his meds, and hopefully he sees that he has love and help that will let him be the good person he wants to be.
I’m glad he had a better day today.
I’m sorry Rye had such a tough day. And I really feel for that poor, troubled boy going to jail. But I love what Rye said to you about being grateful for his meds! I hope my daughter will have a similar attitude when she hits her teens. I see glimpses of it sometimes now–gives me hope for the future.