So, it dawned on me yesterday when re-reading my post that perhaps I should elaborate on what I mean when I say that Rye is stable.
After all, what is ’stability’?
I’ll be honest, I don’t know. I mean, what is stability to others? I don’t know. We are learning as we go over here and all I can do is tell you what it looks like for us.
So, what it means for us is…Rye is not controlled and consumed by emotion. His thought processes and perceptions are reasonable and he is functioning at a somewhat normal speed. He is malleable, teachable, and capable of redirection. He is more like a neurotypical kid.
Now…does he still get mad?
Yes.
Does he sometimes get really mad?
Yes.
Does he still get sad?
Yes.
Does he still cry sometimes?
Yes.
Does he still get frustrated?
Yes.
Is he happy all of the time?
No.
Is he happy a good deal of the time?
Yes.
Does he rage out of control with unstoppable destruction?
No.
Does he sometimes get overly happy and laugh that ‘over the top’ maniacal laugh?
Yes.
Does he engage in reckless and dangerous behavior with no thoughts of the consequences?
No.
Does he still need discipline?
Yes.
Does he still need structure?
Yes.
Does he always make the right choices?
No.
Does he need a lot of excerise?
Yes.
Does he care about others?
Yes.
Does he show empathy towards others?
Yes.
Can we tell him ‘no’ without him falling apart?
Yes.
Does he still have problems with transitions?
Yes.
Is he able to attend school?
Yes.
Is school still a struggle?
Yes.
Is he able to play group sports?
Yes.
Does he still have some anxiety?
Yes.
Is it crippling anxiety?
No.
Does he still need a lot of sleep?
Yes.
Is he able to sleep without issue for at least 8 hours a night?
Yes.
And that’s it in a nutshell. As Rye is extremely sensitive to medication, we struggle with him being hypomanic or overmedicating him. It’s a very fine line because he reacts so strongly to the smallest doses of meds. So for now, we choose to have him hypomanic as long as he does not hurt himself or others.
But it’s always in flux.
What does stability look like for your family?
5 Comments
oohhh, good question, I think it will be a few years before I can really answer that question. I imagine that it would look like your list. I don’t expect my son to be healed, but he should be better than where we are today.
Hello! I have been thinking a lot about what stable means in regards to my 8 year old son. He recently started Zoloft, soon after had severe rages, then was hospitalized and put on Abilify as well. It has been nearly a month now and we have seen great improvement. That is until last week. My son can still talk with us and think about the emotions causing his unstability enough to regain control when he gets frustrated. (Only after lashing out, scratching, kicking, hitting, cussing and threatening us.) It saddens me, to see this behavior return. Definitly not te stability I want. Still better than a full blown rage and he is slowly learning how to control himself when this happens. I think he needs to go through it to learn how to cope with it. We shall see, school starts next week!
Thank you for sharing your story. It has been very helpful in so many ways. Nina
I’ve been thinking about this a lot, too, since Carter is the most stable he’s been in nearly two years.
Stable is a far cry from what most people would consider normal!
Hmmm…I may link back here and write my own post about what stable means at our house, for our boy.
I’m so very happy that Rye is doing well.
Your post made me think…what is stability for our family? All of our issues these days focus around social anxiety and general anxiety, and the extreme avoidance and stress they create. Without the anxiety, I don’t believe its angry twin depression would raise its ugly head.
So for us, stability is winning the tug-a-war between avoidance and pursuit.
My Son was diagnosed with a bad case of bi-polar. It was getting so bad at school for him that he didn’t want to go to class. Teens at his school would just make him feel like he was a “freak” from what my son stated. I needed to find a program/school that would offer a program for a child with bi-polar disorder for teenagers. I found a school that offered the program and education that he needed, which was west ridge academy in utah