Yesterday Rye and I had what Don and I call a payback day. Payback days are essentially mental health/fall apart days for Rye. Days where Rye really lets down and lets out all of the fears, anxieties, anger, etc. that he has been keeping inside for days or weeks, like a tea kettle that has built pressure over time and finally blows its whistle from pressure overload. And yesterday I had the pleasure of having that day with Rick Jones, the alter ego, who I have not seen or heard from in a long time now.
Rye ranted and raved and went on and on about everything he’s scared of and everything he’s kept in over the past few months. He got mad. He got sad. He cried. He screamed. He yelled. He went on and on. And I let it go on and on because I’ve learned he needs these days. In order for him to maintain his calm self the majority of the time, he needs these days to let down and let it out. And this one was overdue because he has been doing really, really well lately.
Anyway, at about 2:30pm I’d finally had enough and told him it was time to let it all go so we could move on with our day and he needed to take part of a Seroquel if he couldn’t regroup on his own. He was ok with that so we quartered a 25 mg Seroquel and he took a quarter (yes, that is a tiny, tiny dose but I think it was definitely more mental than anything) and we went on with our day. He helped me clean the house and then we went to football practice. He worked hard at football and then had a friend spend the night.
Overall it was a good day. Tiring but good.
Payback days are needed around here.
