Raising Bipolar

We had therapy yesterday and this was the overall topic.  A bit heavy for a 12 year old, as technically he still is a child, but useful nonetheless.  I think after a while Rye seemed to start to get it.  At least enough to start working on it.

The gist is this, when it comes to making decisions in life, ask yourself what you would want your own child to do if you had a child (in Rye’s case, he should ask himself what he would tell his own son to do) and then tell your self to do that same thing.  In other words, give yourself the same advice you would give an outer, dependent child.

For example, sometimes I ask Rye when he is struggling with a decision….even before this session…’If you had a son or our positions were reversed and you were my parent, what would you tell that son or what would you tell me to do in this situation?’  Inevitably he comes up with better advice for me or his hypothetical child than he would actually give himself in real life.  So, the idea is that he should give himself that same information or advice that he would give me in a parent or caregiver role and follow it himself.

He should love himself.  This is a way of showing love to himself.

Now, granted, there are a lot of kids that just do this naturally.  Many kids out there, myself included as a young person [although in my 20's I did struggle more with this], do not struggle with impulse control issues or being drawn to dangerous things or making the right decision as much as bipolar children and teens often do.  So they don’t really need this so much.  It it just obvious to them that they should make healthy and safe decisions.  However, my child is not like this.  He struggles.  He often wants to do the right thing but is also quite drawn to the darker choice.  And so this advice, behavioral training, and practice is good for him.

And, let’s not discount the effects of medication.  We also saw the psychiatrist yesterday and we discussed this as well.  Without the medication, making the right decision or well thought out decisions can be next to impossible.  However, the problem with the medication is that  it is not always right.  It is not always at the right level or working right or whatever the case may be so one needs to have other techniques to use as well – and in addition to  – the medication.  The psychiatrist yesterday said that Rye is still hypomanic.  But we can only go up so fast on the Depakote.  So these behavioral techniques are helpful.   Even if they don’t work as well as if he weren’t hypomanic.  They are still are much, much better than nothing.  And honestly, I can’t remember a time in my life when Rye wasn’t hypomanic so I’ll be blown away when we get to where he’s not.

The therapy is useful.  Rye may not be able to put every technique into practice at all times but I know he really hears the therapist and it is all going into his mind. Bit by bit.  Session by session.  Techniques for how to deal with life, decisions, feelings and dificult situations.

It’s all good.