The past is never dead. It’s not even past.
- From ‘Requiem For A Nun’ by William Faulkner
So I have to write this down before I forget it but last night I had a dream about Eminem. Here’s why.
Rye’s new favorite song is ‘Not Afraid’ by Eminem. If you haven’t heard the song or your kids don’t listen ad nauseum to and know the lyrics to every new hip hop song that comes out on the radio, this song is from his new album ‘Recovery’ and it’s about Eminem’s decision to get clean from drugs and alcohol. And it’s actually a really good song. So we listen to it a lot. Because it’s on the radio a lot.
Anyway, yesterday Rye, his friend and I were coming home from the amusement park/water park (to which we now have season passes so we go every week) and the song ‘Not Afraid’ came on the radio. Rye sang it at about 800 decibels with the hand movements and everything and we moved on with our lives. Well, about 10 minutes later another Eminem song came on that I had never heard before and I swear to God I nearly had a wreck I was so stopped in my tracks by it. The song was “Love the Way You Lie” with Eminem and Rihanna.
Now, it’s not often in life we have moments like this and when we do have them it’s always a bit unnerving but at the moment I heard that song I was totally taken back to my first marriage. Honest to God, I felt like I was emotionally in some kind of time warp. That song completely took me back, instantaneously and in some weird suspension in time. The song was a nearly perfect depiction of my relationship with Rye’s bio-dad, BigB. And it completely weirded me out. Now, not to say that that relationship was all bad because by no means was it. Rye’s bio-dad was my best friend for many years. Almost all of my 20’s, in fact. When it was good, it was really good. But when it was bad it was really bad. Too bad. So ultimately I had to go.
Anyway, to the dream. Well, the dream was that I was staying at a friend’s house and Eminem was staying there as well. He was passing through town on some tour or something or other and he was friends with the same people I was friends with so he was staying and visiting with them, just as I was. I was petrified to talk to him because I had no idea what he would be like in real life and, to be honest, he very much reminds me of BigB (Rye’s bio-dad) and that weirds me out a little as well. But I finally mustered up the nerve to talk to him and as it turns out, I had nothing to be scared of as he was really nice. And very intelligent. The intelligence part was the part that struck me the most. We had a good conversation and then our mutual friends, he and I all went out for breakfast. And when we got in the car the song ‘Love The Way You Lie’ was playing. And this time I was was ok with it. The song didn’t spook me as much. I was at peace with it all.
Ok, a little mundane, I admit it. But I never ever dream about celebrities so it was unusual for me.
Really I think the dream was about working through and coming full circle on the past and present because, you see, Rye loves Eminem. Eminem is a lot like BigB. BigB was raised a lot like Eminem. Rye loves but is scared of BigB. I loved but was (and still am a bit) scared of BigB. We never hear from BigB. Eminem is who we hear on the radio. Eminem sings songs that directly relate to both Rye and BigB. BigB looks somewhat similar to and has the same mannerisms as Eminem. Rye has no idea that BigB ever liked Eminem as an artist. Rye is simply drawn, independantly, to the lyrics and the notes and the emotion that Eminem expresses. He can relate to it. As could Big B. They are all very similar on a level of soul.
So, there you go.
Life works in mysterious ways. And what may appear to be the past is never really past.
