Raising Bipolar

Well, I’ll tell you, Rye and I were talking yesterday and I’m pretty sure that someday he will look back on this summer and see it as one of the more defining times in his life.  The kid is really having to learn some really difficult life lessons right now.  And it’s not easy.  In fact, it’s quite painful.

As Rye moves from childhood to the teen years and matures into more of a young man, he is having to make some changes in his life.  And while these changes are ultimately for the better, they aren’t easy.  By any means.   He is having to say good-bye to some friends and friend’s families that he has known well since he was 7 years old.   Friends whose lives and families lives have taken a turn for a less-than-desirable path.   And often a dangerous path.  Friends who are starting to get into trouble.  Trouble that will have a big impact later down the road.  Friends whose parents are constantly in trouble and create havoc in the lives of those around them.  Friends whose parents have addictions that they cannot or will not address and impact the whole household around them.   Friends whose houses are not safe for Rye to go to anymore.  Friends who are engaging in sexual activity at much too early of an age and can’t even begin to understand the depth of the consequences of their actions, be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

And these changes are hard.

They mean letting go of the familiar.  Letting go of families that had become almost like second families to him in the days when situations were safer.   Letting go of the known, and a false sense of safety, and years of history with people.

All in exchange for a life of better living.  A life with a better future.  Bigger goals.  A broader reality.  A life of conscious living and purposeful choices.

But you know what?  He is doing it.  He is working through it.  He is maturing.  He sees the limitations of the situations he was in and wants more for himself.  And wants to be around people that want more for themselves.  And luckily he does have some friends that fit this definition so he is not losing all he knows.  He even has some friends with parents with real struggles that still want something better for themselves.  And those friends he will keep.   But this is definitely a time of struggle for Rye.  And pain.  And loss.  And sadness.

We talked yesterday about what differentiates successful people in life from unsuccessful people (and I’m not talking in terms of monetary value but rather in leading a healthy, happy, productive, challenging, loving and purposeful life).  And we decided that the defining moments come when  a person bound for success sees a challenge in life,  meets that challenge head on, problem solves the challenge, works through the challenge, feels the feelings and comes out the other end a stronger, more mature, more self confident and peaceful person.  Conversely, the person that does not achieve success in life lets the inevitable challenges of life that we all must face consume them and ultimately devour them.  They avoid the problem, deny the problem, are scared of the problem, work to escape the problem, and therefore become paralyzed by the problem.  They cannot work through, move through or move past inevitable challenges in their life.  And therefore they become retarded in that phase of development and never become a fully rounded or developed person.

The great thing is, Rye, now at 12 years old, is able to see the difference in how people choose to deal with the world around them. An he wants to be a strong person.  Someone who can move through the problems of life and not let them hold him back from what he wants.  And he’s willing to make the sacrifices to do it.

I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of him.  He is feeling a lot of loss right now but he is an incredible person.  He will work through it and I’m so proud to have him as my son.