Alright, I’ll be honest. I am not feeling the love today.
Normally I start my morning out reading a little bit of a certain pretty & friendly site to start my day. The site is light, mindless, it’s beautiful, and without conflict, pain, or struggle. I find this very appealing first thing in the morning. In fact, I’m a big fan. I have to say, though, this morning when I read my morning dose it really got my goat. Yesterday, like an idiot, I braved it and posted a comment in the homeschool section to the response of the question, what do you do to encourage reading with your children? I posted how no matter what we do we can’t get Rye to enjoy reading chapter books as his memory, combined with comprehension, is so bad that he can’t remember one chapter to the next to make the book coherent. Well, fine, good enough. It’s true.
So, what was my big mistake? I went back this morning and read the rest of the comments in that section. They went something like this…
Well, if the children don’t like to read, it’s because the parents haven’t modeled that love of reading for them.
Wrong. I love to read. And write. In fact, I read constantly and I write all of the time. My undergraduate degree in is English Literature. And I read and write in front of my child. I have had writings published. In the Library of Congress. My child still does not like to read. Or write.
If you read to your child as a young person at bedtime, they will have that love of reading instilled in them from a young age.
Wrong. I read to my child every night before bed for years and years. He still does not love to read.
I’m a reading specialist and I tell my students if they just push themselves in reading at higher levels, they will improve and love to read.
Well, you must be a ‘reading specialist’ in a public school because my son has had years and years of private tutoring from highly trained Orton-Gillingham tutors and while they have done a great job teaching him to read when public school reading specialists could not, he will still not pick up a book willingly and sit down and read it for enjoyment. And my son’s reading tutors totally get that. That is very common for kids with significant learning disabilities.
So, I’ll admit it. I don’t have a perfect child who loves to read or loves to browse the library or bookstores and then cuddle up with a good book in front of the fireplace. Despite the fact that I’ve modeled that behavior, we do it as parents and a family, we’ve all been to college and most of us graduate school etc., etc., etc.
Whatever. Suck it. My kid has enough personality and passion for life to fill 3 football stadiums. He does not like to read. Big whoop.
So, while the perfect parents of the perfect kids cheer themselves on for being wonderful role models and fostering great habits in their children, let’s hear it for the not-so-perfect parents of the world with the not-so-perfect, but miles and miles more interesting and entertaining, kids.
That’s right!
6 Comments
It’s a shitty lesson, and most people never have to learn it: we just are NOT that powerful. I’ve been on the receiving end of this same kind of thing more times than I can count. I’m sorry you caught their crap.
It’s so hard, isn’t it? It makes me feel like we can only talk to each other, like the world of SN needs is the only world where we can even hope to fit. That’s just wrong. We’re still people; our kids are still kids; we’re still parents.
And Carter can’t read yet at almost 8 years old. This, in a house FILLED with books, 2 parents who both read for several hours every day, a mom who writes every chance I get. We read to him from an early age, just like our other kids. And all our kids learned to read early, except Carter, because he’s different. Worse? No, never. But different. He doesn’t like to read, can’t sit still for books (or TV, computer games, puzzles, coloring, or anything else).
I try to remember that all those people who take credit for all their kids accomplishments? Will someday have to take blame for all their “failures.”
OK, sorry to rant. That’s one of my chronically raw nerves.
Hey what the H**, my daughter self-taught to read at age 4, by age 8 college level reading comprehension score age 29—by age 19 reading comprehension score 2nd grade level, she basically owned a library of books, and now she can barely look at a magazine….life is strange how things turn out. Perspective is hard to learn.
I had to stop reading Pioneer Woman, because her life appears so perfect, so la-di-dam-da with her cowboy, her kids, her book, her expensive book tour hotels, at a certain point, I realized all she is –is a business woman, who figured out how to make some good money and end up on QVC.
WE all have good kids, WE ARE good parents, WE have compassion because of what we have lived with our kids, and we do not have unattainable expectations placed on our kids, we accept them for who they are, where they are at TODAY.
Bill Gates never went to college.
Hey, those perfect parents probably claim that their perfect children were potty trained at 12 months old> Guess what? They lie about that too. ANd really, how many times in life does success depend on not shitting and pissing in your pants before you can walk?
It seems like there are always people ready to put someone else down. I’ve run into a couple of those people lately, too.
I don’t think a person has to enjoy reading. Everyone is different. Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same. It sounds like Rye is a special person and I love hearing about all of the things he does enjoy doing.
HB
i have this delusional vision in my head that when Taz is a few years older i’m going to read him the harry potter series at night before he goes to bed. it’s something i’ve been dying to do with my kids since the very first book was written and i read it. if i think about it too hard i come to realize that even if he can sit through a book being read out loud (which is questionable), his auditory processing might prevent him from understanding it, it might be too scary even at an older age, or like your son he may not be able to remember one chapter to the next. but. in my mind, i’m going to read harry potter to SOMEBODY. even if it’s myself.
My hubby was not a reader as a kid or even as a teen. He still went to college and enjoyed all the learning. Currently, the guy has a pile of 10 books next to the bed. Rye will come to it when he needs it.
TPW is good for very fattening recipes!