Raising Bipolar

so, as to the don’t ’should’ story…

What Red meant in this statement is that it is not good for one to look at the world through a lens of ’shoulds’ because you ruin what is by comparing it to what you feel, for whatever reason, should be.

In other words,  by ’shouding’ all over everything,  not only will you be disappointed with your life as it unfolds because you are constantly comparing it to how you feel it should be but you will also miss out on the beauty of what actually is.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, I’m not sure how well I explained that as I’m a bit fatigued as I write this but this lesson has served me well in life.  And I am so glad I met Red and had him to teach this lesson to me.  It has really helped me with acceptance and thus overall happiness because instead of worrying about what should be I just strive to deal with and work with what is.

So, how does this apply to Rye and bipolar?

Well, with Rye’s intense emotions and intense emotional reactions I sometimes say to myself that he should be able to act this way or he should be able to do this or that or he shouldn’t have feelings this intense or whatever the case may be.  But then I catch myself and think…well, why shouldn’t he?  Why can’t he just be who he needs to be (to a point, I mean obviously he has to function in society and not freak everyone out)?  It is as this point of not comparing that I accept him for who he is and let him be who he needs to be.  With accepting him as he is and valuing his inherent attributes and working with them rather than against them, I am much more understanding and able to guide him rather than just digging my heels in and wanting to change him immediately and unnaturally.

But, alas, I am rambling.  And I am tired.  I subbed today at The Alternative School for the EBD class and I’m pooped. It’s interesting to see who ends up in those classes as those kids are, on so many points, Rye.  Given a different family circumstance or if I had kept him on those meds, he too would be in those classes.

The good news is that the 2 therapists in the class told me the kids in the class had one of their best days ever today with me as their sub because I gave the kids so much direct attention and connected with them so much.  So, that was cool.  The therapists were pleasantly shocked.

Little do they know what I am used to at home.