Well, first things first. Rick, or Rye, made it through school yesterday without incident. He was perky when I picked him up and pleasant all through the evening. He went out of his way to apologize to Don and promised the problem behavior we saw towards me would not happen again. They played Wii and he went to bed on time and made it to school on time this morning. Rye was also extremely proud of himself as he got his progress report grades and although science and social studies were lacking he had a 98% math grade for tests and quizzes. What? Who is this kid?
Needless to say, we are proud of him and he is proud of himself.
So, on to the point of the post.
My ex-husband BigB, Rye’s bio-dad, had, and as far as we know continues to have, a very hefty drug problem. Street drugs, not pharms. For a while though, while we were dating and newly married, he was clean and sober. For years. It was great. And he was a ton of fun. During this time, BigB was active in Alcoholics Anonymous and had a sponsor named Red. Red was a great guy. Red had plowed through about 5 marriages, had been a big time magazine editor in his peak and since his ‘fall’ had been in AA and clean and sober for years. Red was wonderful. He was highly intelligent, super caring and a good friend and mentor to BigB and to I. He taught us a lot about so many things but most importantly problem solving, attitude adjustment and coping with life in general.
With that, one of the most important things he taught us over the years was not to ’should’ all over everything.
Well, crud, I just got called to work so…to be continued….
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In regards to your post yesterday, as I worked at a psych hospital I had the pleasure to work with a psychiatrist who was also heavily trained in Freudian psychoanalysis and he always said the moods can be learned and unlearned even in people who are bi-polar and he demonstarted many times that he was right. also “the explosive child” is a good book.
One of the reasons I like having Rye off meds is that from what I’ve seen in people who have their kids on meds, everything the kid does becomes about the meds. Every little or big thing that happens is something that needs a med adjustment. It’s as if there is no person or living child in the body that should be allowed to have up or down emotions or might have the possibility of having any control over their emotions but rather just a walking chemical reaction. It all just feels wrong to me.
I guess, though, that if you take enough psych meds you are ultimately at the mercy of them. The mess they often can create can be intense and that’s where you see the repeated hospitalizations. It’s a train that gains momentum and is hard to get off of.
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